reflect

So this weekend, I attended Link's grandfather's funeral. RIP Grandpa Traymany. During the entire ceremony, I was just had time to reflect. This is by no means a suicidal thought or I am not even near depression or anything. If I was to die tomorrow, woul I have been satisfied with the life i lived? Thats all I thought about. Well the majority of the time that was going through my head. I tell myself all the time I don't want to live with any regrets, I don't want to dwell on the past and think about the "what ifs" in my life. This is old, but everything does happen for a reason. I thought long and hard about my life. I have made some horribly stupid ass decisions that started digging my grave, but you know what I made those choices. I am sorry I did what I did, but there is no way I can do anything about them now. The only person I am really apologizing to is myself, I let myself down each time I did what I did. Sometimes you just have to say sorry to yourself I guess. I am also sorry to those I hurt because of my actions. I am greatful for those that cared about what I did, they stepped up and told me whats up. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. Its friends like those that get me through my hard times, and the ones I hold closest. I am satisfied with how I have been living my life. I do everything to my full potential, never holding back. My main motivation for what I do is, whatever makes me happy, I am there. How can something that makes you happy be wrong, right? People might not be happy with what I do, or not understand it, all I can say is that it is in good fun. I am trying to live out my 20s as much as I can, before the "real world" takes over. That does not mean I am trying to party everyday, get drunk and fucked up or anything like that. I am just trying to have a good time with my friends and family. Well really, my friends become family to me. So really, to cliffnote this nonsense of letters, I am happy of how my life has turned out, my accomplishes, and my failures that really helped me learn a little more about myself. The other thought running in my head was, I wonder who would come to my funeral. That shit is another blog all on its own as this is getting long.

-bye